I'm going to share something with you guys. December 13th 2005, the night my Dad died immediately after finding out I remember sitting in the bathroom and the first thoughts that entered my mind was I WISH EVERYBODY ELSE'S FATHER WOULD DIE TOO!!!! Smh...Its an ugly feeling. Looking back I genuinely feel bad about saying it but it was a feeling. MY feelings and I won't apologize for them. Your feelings are just that. YOUR feelings...As bad, and as reckless, and as painful, and hurtful as they may be, they are still YOURS!!!!! And there is no right or wrong about what you feel. Alot of people don't share their feelings in fear of being judged. Alot of people try to make others feel that their feelings dont matter or are insignificant. Yes they probably are insignificant to another individual but very sinificant to you because they're YOURS!!!! Sometimes we as women experience feelings that overwhelm us. Me, myself have gone through some feelings and emotions that damn near drove me crazy BUT the key to staying sane was being able to express those feelings no matter how harsh, strange, painful, or psycho they may be to someone who I trust and love. My suggestion is to let go of the guilt that what you feel is wrong and instead acknowledge those feelings, find out whats making you feel that way, find someone to express those feelings to and then try to work through them. We are living through some harsh times and EVERYBODY no matter how hard their struggle is and what they're going through need somebody to lean on!