HAPPINESS PERSONIFIED....
I imagine that when I meet "the one" its not going to be in the South Of France, its not going to be any Violins playing, No Doves released up into the sky, no Dangerously In Love playing in the background but just a simple, magical moment that we'll share that lets us know THIS IS IT.....I haven't had the pleasure of experiencing that BUT I'm close seeing as though it happened for one of my very BEST friends! (So thats kind of, sort of like happening to ME). About a year and a half ago she nonchalantly says "Dijah I think this is the ONE". I'm thinking to myself Butta done went STARK RAVING MAD....This man that I've barely heard two freakin words about this heifer is thinking about MARRYING???? So I gave my well wishes as any friend would but as any GOOD and OVERPROTECTIVE friend I had my doubts about this stranger. So I went home and thought long and hard. I've been friends with Butta 11yrs and EVERY decision she's made regarding her life has ALWAYS been for the better! I trust that this decision is no different. The moment I met Drew I liked him.  Not young but not old, grown man with swagg, handsome and smooth, and every bit of Butta's father's personality 20 some odd years ago. BUT I STILL WASN'T CONVINCED! Now invitations have gone out. Wedding party is assembled, the dress is purchased, the Bridal shower is over and with all of that said and done I still couldn't really tell if he was the one UNTIL I saw this picture....Throughout ALL 11yrs of our friendship we have laughed, cried, argued, shared, separated, reunited, agreed to disagree, supported, listened, and loved one another whole-heartedly. But in all of my 11yrs with Butta I've NEVER seen the face you see in this picture above. FINALLY HE PUT HER LOVE ON TOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Poetry (her son) gave her life purpose and Drew gives her life meaning and because of that she is now made whole. The look on her face shows it. To say I'm happy for her is an understatement!!!! All of the good she did is finally starting to do HER some good and I'm elating that I'm here to watch it unfold....CONGRATULATIONS BUTTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are less than 3 weeks away from one of the biggest and beautiful accomplishments of your life. I pray God provides LOVE, STRENGTH, PATIENCE, UNITY, FAITH, UNDERSTANDING, AND BLESSINGS ON YOUR UNION. You and Poetry deserve ALL the blessings God is bestowing upon you and ALWAYS remember I'm here ALWAYS & FOREVER....I LOVE YOU!

You ready B????? Lets go get em!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mister Cee....Mister Cee....Mister Cee....Truth be told I teared up with him during that interview because I could I hear the voice of a man BROKEN. That touched my heart. Its unfortunate for someone to feel that they have to live their life in denial because they're PETRIFIED of what others might think of them. The disappointment for me is the lies. I would have understood if he chose to neither deny or confirm the allegations seeing as though its really no one's business but to flat out lie to the people who have been supporting your career for all of these years is an insult. YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE AND IT IS WHAT IT IS! No matter what your sexual preference they can't deny your talent! I for one am a fan and I honestly felt bad and sad listening to his interview. To have your deepest, darkest secret exposed (and we ALL have them) to the whole entire world is not only embarrassing but demeaning and frightening. I pray that his family and true fans accept his lifestyle as just that, HIS lifestyle and continue to support his music career. I pray that the support he receives provides him with enough comfort to continue pursuing his music career and that all of the people with the negative comments regarding his sexual preference focus more on his talent as opposed to his personal life! *WE ALL NEED SOMEBODY TO LEAN ON*

So today is day 7 of my 30 days no fried food, no Alcohol fast and I'm in week 4 of my 24 week workout regimen. I must admit I'm not particularly fond of lifting weights or working out as a whole BUT I made a promise to myself and I intend on keeping it. Working out is never easy and for me

most of the time its NOT fun BUT when I look in the mirror and see the results, I AM ECSTATIC!!!! Not to mention I just added 10yrs on to my life. THANK GOD FOR SMALL MIRACLES!!!!!

Sooooooooooooooooooooo I missed the gym Monday due to the ugly weather. Of course that annoyed me and also made me feel bad because I'm DETERMINED to finish up this 24 weeks STRONG! So within these last two weeks I've learned I get very BORED with just gym workouts and thats why I never stick with them. So I'm teaching myself to try different things; long walks, bike rides in the park, and swimming just to name a few. Well yesterday was my first new challenge, I walked all the way from Lewis Ave & Lafayette Ave (Bed Stuy) to Rockaway Ave & Hegeman Ave (Brownsville). At around Fulton & Saratoga I started to get a little winded but I kept going! There is work to be done, 20 more weeks, and a brand new lifestyle!!!!!!
*When They See The NEW Dijah Watch The Dope Boys Go Crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy*

LET GO OR BE DRAGGED!!!!
Nobody on Gods green Earth is more aware of the fear that accompanies the thought of being alone than me. WHO WANTS THAT???? I can assure you NOBODY....Everybody on this planet wants to be loved, accepted, acknowledged, thought the world of, taken care of and respected by someone. Oftentimes imposters show up with what may look or feel like that at first and shortly after their "other side" appears. If they are imposters than beyond the shadow of a doubt that other side will rear its ugly head, its just up to us to acknowledge it and then do something about it. Imposters "other side" will become apparent to YOU before anyone else but the good  they made you feel before the other side was revealed is a memory not only imbedded in your head but stitched in your heart. So we OVERLOOK and EXCUSE the behaviors of the "other side" up until they are inexcusable and can no longer be overlooked. For some of us by the time we reach that place we are so mentally DEFEATED that we are a step away from believing that that behavior is acceptable. I remember a quote from Tony Gaskins  "if you don't know how to LOVE yourself somebody will teach you how to HATE yourself and you will confuse the two." I've NEVER heard a quote more honest, a quote more real, and a quote more close to home. Forget the opinions of others and ask yourself HOW DOES THIS LOVE FEEL TO YOU? Does it enhance your life? Are you happy? Do you laugh more than you cry? If you can answer YES to all of these questions than anybody outside looking in has not reserved the right to have an opinion BUT if you've ever been so low in your relationship that only God can resurrect your spirit....LET GO YOU'RE BEING DRAGGED!!!!! I know I'm still healing the scrape marks of my wounds....

ITS UNFAIR FOR YOU TO JUDGE THE PEOPLE YOU ONCE WERE I'm a firm believer in change but I realize that with that belief comes along PATIENCE. One of the most valuable lessons I've learned to date is that sometimes change can take a lifetime. The problem for most people is not the change itself but the patience required for it to happen. If a person has been a certain type of way for 25yrs it might take them 25 more to change! The key is being patient enough to wait for that change. But you have others who have been a certain type of way for 25yrs and it might take them one year to change. Those ones are the MOST insensitive people in the world. I know because at times I AM ONE OF THEM. I would ALWAYS use the term "I couldn't understand." I couldn't understand how a family member of mine could deal with a married man because I wasn't doing it anymore. I couldn't understand how people could be working and not pay their rent since I was no longer in housing court. I couldn't understand how people could be fat and miserable because all of a sudden I'm such a gym rat.....THE NERVE AND AUDACITY OF ME!!!! Sitting around gossiping, laughing at, disrespecting and judging the same person that not too long ago I JUST WAS! I'm a very mindful person. I'm not ashamed to spit that REAL TALK but before I give anybody else on Gods green Earth some "real talk" I must be willing to give myself it first. Its EASY to be the outsider looking in. Consider yourself BLESSED if you have already made it through a situation that many others seem to be still struggling with. BUT at the same token lets not forget not too long ago you were sitting in that same seat. Lets not rub your victory in someone else's face instead reach back and try to bring them to victory as well. God sits HIGH and looks LOW, the moment I began to humble myself and help my people I got to truely see how ALL of the goods you do ALWAYS come back to you!!!!!