I'D RATHER LIVE AS A SOLDIER THAN DIE AS A COWARD!!!!!!!!!!!

My anticipation to break into the Mental Health field is growing more and more EVERYDAY.....I realize that A LOT of people (myself included) NEED help....I'm glad I can be the first to admit it. Looking back on my life there has been things that have stunted my growth as a woman but also some things have HELPED ME TO GROW! I'm EXCELLENT @ making assessments, apologizing when I'm wrong, aggreeing to disagree, and keeping an open mind. But as I'm working towards becoming a BETTER me, I'm watching others around me unravel rapidly.....And its not even the unraveling that I'm concerned about but more so the UNAWARENESS!!! But hey what can u do? You can keep them in prayer and keep on keeping on, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I INTEND ON DOING.....

Me: God can I ask u a question? God: Sure Me: Promise u won't get mad God: I promise Me: Why did u let so much stuff happen to me today? ... ... ... ... God: What do u mean? Me: Well, I woke up late, God: Yes Me: My car took forever to start, God: Okay Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait, God:Huummmm... Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call..... God: All right Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did you do that? God: Let me see, the Death Angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that. Me (humbled): OH GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road. Me (ashamed)......... God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work. Me (embarrasses):Ok God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered. Me (softly): I see God God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark. Me: I'm sorry God God: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me.....in all things, the good & the bad. Me: I will trust you God: And don't doubt that my plan for your day is always better than your plan. Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, thank you for everything today. God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I love looking after my children......

There is absolutely, positively, NOTHING more important than FAMILY....I come from a very loving, strong, inspirational, helpful, understanding, educated group of people. THEY LOVE ME!!!! When everything is going wrong and I feel I have no one to turn to, it is them that keep me grounded. THERE IS NO GREATER FEELING THAN LOVE....I CANT LIVE WITHOUT IT! I am so BLESSED to have it. I have had encounters and experiences that have influenced me in a way that I cant describe. I appreciate those people and those experiences! GOD is working through, for, and with me. If he is with me to hell with anyone thats against me! Thank u Jesus for my FAMILY and the people that truly LOVE me....I AM NOTHING WITHOUT THEM.....

The ship of my life may or may not be sailing on calm and amiable seas. The challenging days of my existence may or may not be bright and promising. Stormy or sunny days, glorious or lonely nights, I maintain an attitude of gratitude. If I insist on being pessimistic, there is always tomorrow. TODAY I AM BLESSED!!!!!!!!!!!

If you are holding on to something that doesnt belong to you....LET IT GO! If you are holding on to past hurts & pains...LET IT GO! If someone CANT treat you right, love you back, and see your worth....LET IT GO! If someone has angered you....LET IT GO! If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil & revenge....LET IT GO! If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction....LET IT GO! If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents....LET IT GO! If you have a bad attitude....LET IT GO! If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better....LET IT GO! If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in him....LET IT GO! If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship...LET IT GO! If you keep trying to help someone who wont even try to help themselves....LET IT GO! If you're feeling depressed and stressed....LET IT GO! If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying take your hands OFF of it,' then you need to....LET IT GO!!!! THE BATTLE IS THE LORDS......

When things go wrong as they sometimes will; When the road you're trudging seems all uphill; When the funds are low, and the debts are high; And you want to smile, but you have to sigh; When care is pressing you down a bit Rest if you must, but don't you quit. Success is failure turned inside out; The silver tint of the clouds of doubt; And you can never tell how close you are; It may be near when it seems afar. So, stick to the fight when you're hardest hit It's when things go wrong that you mustn't quit...

Here at work on this rainy day listening to the soothing sounds of Ms. Houston......Such a TRAGEDY to lose someone so TALENTED, BEAUTIFUL, and LOVED so soon!!!! This woman's voice DEFINITELY broke the mold....I grew up on her music and movies. I have an old DVR Cable box and EVERYBODY has been trying to convince me to upgrade, I refuse!!!! My only reason for not wanting to do so is because I have 2009's American Music Awards when they honored Whitney as the International Artist Of The Year.
As a person who ADORES this woman, this performance resignated something in me. This award was PROOF that there is a Silver Lining in EVERY cloud. That TALENT regardless to what its accompanied by still stands alone. WHITNEY HAD OFFICIALLY COME BACK!!!!!! That "come back" gave women such as myself HOPE. It represented RESILIENCY....It was the PERFECT way of saying.....I'VE BEEN THRU SOME THINGS, BUT WITH GOD'S LOVE I MADE IT THRU......
God bless you Ms. Houston, I pray that God provides your family with COMFORT in their time of bereavement. You were most definitely an Angel, your voice lifted so many spirits, and I pray your legacy continues to live on.....RIP WHITNEY HOUSTON, GONE BUT MOST CERTAINLY NEVER FORGOTTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RANDOM THOUGHTS.......
God makes a way out of no way so with that being said I'm KEEPING my positive state of mind even when things don't seem like they're going very well. Whats the saying???? "FAITH IS TAKING THE FIRST STEP EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T SEE THE WHOLE STAIRCASE!"
I have FAITH that God LOVES me and wants the BEST for me....I just HATE not knowing what the "best" is....Some people are FASCINATED by not knowing what God has in store for them....For me its a lil scary....Who am I kidding????? ITS ALOT SCARY!!!!!!!!!!! BUT......We all have to make decisions for our lives as best WE sit fit. What decisions do I NEED to make today??????????

So my 'Dirty 30' B'Day weekend has officially come to a close.....In all honesty I can say I'M THANKFUL!!!! I spent the last 30 years of my life WORRYING....I HATE THAT FEELING!!!! I'm learning to realize that I have absolutely NO control over what is going to happen to me in my life. I can only CONTRIBUTE to what direction I want my life to go in....I have concluded that after all is said and done....I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY!!!! The equivalent of happiness for me is LOVE....REAL LOVE!!!! From family, friends, co-workers, relationships, and any other encounters I have in life. But the only problem I seem to have is LOVE is displayed differently from different people. I HATE THE WAY SOME PEOPLE LOVE!!!! BUT I have to respect it....Just as well as I have my way of expressing my love, other people have theirs. So with that being said its very HARD to distinguish who's way of loving I want to ACCEPT.
I'm having trouble figuring out which bridges to burn and which to cross....
But I also know that GOD will provide GUIDANCE and that is most certainly what I NEED. I just have to pay close attention to the signs. I have to stop denying whats being revealed right in my face. Its just that regardless to how obvious it is, and how beneficial it may be....It still doesn't change the fact that sometimes..........THE TRUTH HURTS!!!!!!!!!

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.

John Quincy Adams

While I know myself as a creation of God, I am also obligated to realize and remember that everyone else and everything else are also God's creation.......

HAPPY B'DAY TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 30YRS OLD TODAY....UNBELIEVABLE......GOD HAS TRUELY BLESSED ME AND FOR THAT I AM TRUELY THANKFUL..........

MOTHER TO SON
BY: Langston Hughes

Well, son, I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor --
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now --
For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair

AT TH END OF THE DAY............

EVERYDAY I FIND SOMETHING OR SOMEONE TO MOTIVATE ME..........

A keen sense of humor helps us overlook the unbecoming, understand the unconventional, tolerate the unpleasant, overcome the unexpected and outlast the unbearable....

A CHANGE MUST COME!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY 57TH G'DAY IN HEAVEN PAPA BEAR.....*I CAN SEE YOUR HALO*

I FEEL SO GOOD THIS MORNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD HAS PLACED SO MANY WONDERFUL PEOPLE IN MY LIFE!!!!! I'M THANKFUL....