I AM SUCH AN EMOTIONAL PERSON.....
And not just over relationships or death but over EVERYTHING!!! When I feel something I feel it to the 10th power and my emotions go haywire. So writing has ALWAYS been an outlet for me, where I can express what I'm feeling, visualize it on paper, assess it and than make the best, sane, rational decision for myself. God forbid I react off of that raw emotion....Everything and everyone around me would crumble.
In doing all of this writing I've learned some very valuable lessons about myself....
1. I CAN'T HIDE WHAT I FEEL
2. I CAN'T LIE ABOUT WHAT I FEEL
3. I CAN'T HELP HOW I FEEL.
In the process of coming to terms with these realizations I began to panic thinking "HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE IN THIS CRUEL WORLD?  A WORLD WHERE NOBODY GIVES A PHUCK ABOUT MY FEELINGS????" So I told myself that I had to come up with some coping skills because if not eff the world but Brownsville, Brooklyn alone would chew me up!!!! So heres what I came up with.
1. NOBODY HAS TO CARE ABOUT MY FEELINGS EXCEPT FOR THE PEOPLE WHO GENUINELY LOVE AND CARE ABOUT ME. Only because their love and care alone would not only prompt them to consider my feelings but also hold them in high regard.
2. IF I NEVER EXPECT ANYTHING FROM ANYONE THEY CAN NEVER LET ME DOWN.
3. ANTICIPATE A NUMBER OF DISAPPOINTMENTS.
4. (And last but definitely NOT least) DON'T TRUST MAN, TRUST GOD TO LOVE AND CARE ABOUT ME ENOUGH TO PLACE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE WHO WILL LOVE AND CARE ABOUT MY FEELINGS!
Of course this is all easier said than done. I'm human so sometimes I not only forget but disregard all of these things because of my "feelings".....Well those same "feelings" have caused me so much suffering and heartache,  the silver lining to that cloud is just as well as the lessons are needed sometimes so is the heartache. Its all apart of my growth and if I cant grow, I cant live.